You ever get the feeling that this is it? You don't know what lies ahead so you're not sure if anything even does. This might just be my 2012-Apocalypse side writing this out but I honestly don't know what's going to happen next.
And no, this isn't a post about how not knowing what your next step is the most liberating feeling in the world because that's all lies. I'm in fact so caught up with figuring out what to do after my final year of college that I just want this last year to pass on... I'm not blind to the fact that I may not be living in and cherishing the present.
This hasn't been a great year. I've lost some people I really care about; I don't think I feel close to those who are still kind of sticking around; and the only break I've caught since 2012 began was the last 2 weeks of summer vacation (Exams, assignments, projects, exams, internship. Yep.)
I'm in such a hurry to grow up- whether it's moving on to my Masters in Creative Writing or working. Hopefully it's the former but I need to visit the Career Counselor to figure out the details and I think I'm delaying that because I'm scared to find out what exactly my chances are- because of my marks (2nd Year DU screwed me over), my abilities and of course, the finances because OBVIOUSLY India doesn't offer these kind of courses and therefore the places that I'm looking at are in the US.
And some of my posts (or maybe all) may depict me as this depressed and disturbed person but I'm not like that. At least, not always. There are things that bring out the worrier in me and this, my not so-mid life crisis, was sparked on by a song I heard recently and cannot stop listening to- A Bad Dream by Keane.
"I wake up
It's a bad dream
No one on my side
I was fighting
But I just feel too tired
To be fighting
Guess I'm not the fighting kind
Wouldn't mind it
If you were by my side
But you're long gone
Yeah, you're long gone now"
That being said, if you've got the time, you should try listening to the band. Hopefully, the song won't have the same effect on you as it did on me. But maybe that happened to me because the friend that I've lost is the one I used to share the music I discovered and liked with... and now I don't know who to do that with anymore. Unfortunately, my mother isn't the kind to appreciate English music and the only way I could make her watch their video was by telling her that the vocalist resembles one of my cousins whom she adores.
So. Yeah. Welcome to my life.
And no, this isn't a post about how not knowing what your next step is the most liberating feeling in the world because that's all lies. I'm in fact so caught up with figuring out what to do after my final year of college that I just want this last year to pass on... I'm not blind to the fact that I may not be living in and cherishing the present.
This hasn't been a great year. I've lost some people I really care about; I don't think I feel close to those who are still kind of sticking around; and the only break I've caught since 2012 began was the last 2 weeks of summer vacation (Exams, assignments, projects, exams, internship. Yep.)
I'm in such a hurry to grow up- whether it's moving on to my Masters in Creative Writing or working. Hopefully it's the former but I need to visit the Career Counselor to figure out the details and I think I'm delaying that because I'm scared to find out what exactly my chances are- because of my marks (2nd Year DU screwed me over), my abilities and of course, the finances because OBVIOUSLY India doesn't offer these kind of courses and therefore the places that I'm looking at are in the US.
And some of my posts (or maybe all) may depict me as this depressed and disturbed person but I'm not like that. At least, not always. There are things that bring out the worrier in me and this, my not so-mid life crisis, was sparked on by a song I heard recently and cannot stop listening to- A Bad Dream by Keane.
"I wake up
It's a bad dream
No one on my side
I was fighting
But I just feel too tired
To be fighting
Guess I'm not the fighting kind
Wouldn't mind it
If you were by my side
But you're long gone
Yeah, you're long gone now"
That being said, if you've got the time, you should try listening to the band. Hopefully, the song won't have the same effect on you as it did on me. But maybe that happened to me because the friend that I've lost is the one I used to share the music I discovered and liked with... and now I don't know who to do that with anymore. Unfortunately, my mother isn't the kind to appreciate English music and the only way I could make her watch their video was by telling her that the vocalist resembles one of my cousins whom she adores.
So. Yeah. Welcome to my life.
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