I've literally taken internet quizzes to help me figure out whether I suffer from depression or if I have OCD or to even check whether I'm bipolar. I'm sure many have done that... right? No? Well, whatever.
It was my parents' anniversary today (I guess it still is... 12 minutes left) but they didn't do anything today because-
A. They were supposed to attend a puja for the passing away of my dad's cousin but it got postponed (I didn't know that could happen).
B. My brother went to Agra for the day with his office buddies.
C. My mom wasn't in a great mood after hearing about the random health issues I've apparently got after the doctor's visit yesterday.
And I spent the entire day calming myself down by mental pep-talks ('cause talking to yourself out loud makes you a weirdo... which I'm not. I promise!) because I kept on freaking about losing a friend recently (Don't worry, he's fine. We just stopped talking.). I keep telling myself I'm fine, which I guess I am. But whenever I get any free time to myself, it's hard to distract myself from the fact that one of my best friends just stopped talking to me one fine day. We'd been having issues for quite some time now and it's not like I didn't think this wouldn't happen at some point but when you learn of this fact not from the friend himself but another mutual friend ('mutual' because I introduced them)... it's not the best feeling in the world.
I guess I would've moved on sooner if he still wasn't a huge part of the lives of my usual group of friends. It's weird knowing that someone whom you knew and befriended first refuses to acknowledge your presence but is a close friend of people you hold really close. But I've kind of been through this one before. I know how I can ride it out... by not freaking myself out and just getting on with things I have going on in my life.
What I really find amusing is that I might not give half a shit about breaking up with someone as I do about losing friends. Not that I have immense experience in that area. But when my ex and I broke up, I expected myself to cry. Hell, he knew what a big cry-er I was and he kept on consoling me by saying- 'It's alright if you want to cry, I'm here'. And I just stared and said- 'Nope, I'm alright.' (that really bruised his ego by the way). A few days later, I literally sat and WILLED myself to well up thinking I might be bottling up my hurt inside and it'd just be better to let it out and I was so close... so close! But then I pictured my face with what my half-assed attempt at crying would be doing to it and I burst out laughing.
Even though it's been almost two years to my one and only relationship (Hey, well, excuse me! Why don't you try studying in an all girls college?), I never once cried or looked back at it wistfully. Yet, I mindf*** myself with the friends I've lost along the way. Ah, well.
It was my parents' anniversary today (I guess it still is... 12 minutes left) but they didn't do anything today because-
A. They were supposed to attend a puja for the passing away of my dad's cousin but it got postponed (I didn't know that could happen).
B. My brother went to Agra for the day with his office buddies.
C. My mom wasn't in a great mood after hearing about the random health issues I've apparently got after the doctor's visit yesterday.
And I spent the entire day calming myself down by mental pep-talks ('cause talking to yourself out loud makes you a weirdo... which I'm not. I promise!) because I kept on freaking about losing a friend recently (Don't worry, he's fine. We just stopped talking.). I keep telling myself I'm fine, which I guess I am. But whenever I get any free time to myself, it's hard to distract myself from the fact that one of my best friends just stopped talking to me one fine day. We'd been having issues for quite some time now and it's not like I didn't think this wouldn't happen at some point but when you learn of this fact not from the friend himself but another mutual friend ('mutual' because I introduced them)... it's not the best feeling in the world.
I guess I would've moved on sooner if he still wasn't a huge part of the lives of my usual group of friends. It's weird knowing that someone whom you knew and befriended first refuses to acknowledge your presence but is a close friend of people you hold really close. But I've kind of been through this one before. I know how I can ride it out... by not freaking myself out and just getting on with things I have going on in my life.
What I really find amusing is that I might not give half a shit about breaking up with someone as I do about losing friends. Not that I have immense experience in that area. But when my ex and I broke up, I expected myself to cry. Hell, he knew what a big cry-er I was and he kept on consoling me by saying- 'It's alright if you want to cry, I'm here'. And I just stared and said- 'Nope, I'm alright.' (that really bruised his ego by the way). A few days later, I literally sat and WILLED myself to well up thinking I might be bottling up my hurt inside and it'd just be better to let it out and I was so close... so close! But then I pictured my face with what my half-assed attempt at crying would be doing to it and I burst out laughing.
Even though it's been almost two years to my one and only relationship (Hey, well, excuse me! Why don't you try studying in an all girls college?), I never once cried or looked back at it wistfully. Yet, I mindf*** myself with the friends I've lost along the way. Ah, well.
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